Sick and Tired

I think I am finally tired of being sick. The gunk in my chest is still there in the mornings and my sinus are still running and I still get tired very easily. I know I am getting older because I am beginning to like my late morning naps. I do feel better I just can't shake the weakness.

I was bad and took two days off from work. I think the stress in fact I know the stress from there just makes it worse not to mention the building itself. It may not be a sick building but it is damn near close. We spread germs around that building like a bag of chips. My new best friend is ‘Mucinex’. I would have been absolutely miserable without it. It took care of most of the snot that comes with a cold. Coughing was to a minimum but I still had to rely on peppermint to sooth my throat. I put those left over candy canes to good use.

Erin has been feeling a little off the last couple of days but she managed to stay in school all day yesterday. She had a slight fever and an ear ache. She is better now I think.

I have not felt like doing too much of anything except sleep, watch TV or play WOW.
I think this is the first real thing I have written in days. Comments at TCPalm don’t count. I am trying to get back to my happy place. Home is much better but I still have a much to consider as to what I need to do at work to be happy again.

Fred says I am unhappy because I can not control what happens at work. The nature of my job also has much to do with how I am feeling. I try very hard to let go but it seems the harder I try the more stressed I become. I try to be a leader and an a role model because I do have control over who I am and how I behave but I think maybe that has even become too much. Fred asked me if there was anyone at work that I trusted and I could only think of two people. I guess that is good better than no one but still I don’t feel comfortable enough to talk to them about how I feel.

I have pondered over resigning as an assistant because I don’t feel like I am accomplishing anything any more. I like training because I do feel like I am doing something constructive but then I feel burnt out. I have 14 years of this job and I still like it most days, love no, but I do enjoy what I do. I want nothing more than to make it better for everyone but it seems like the harder I try the less I accomplish and the angrier I become. I am at a loss I don’t know what to do or how to fix it.

All I know is that I am tired of feeling angry, tired of feeling unappreciated, tired of feeling betrayed. I am tired of feeling sick and tired.