Sunday, April 30, 2006

Jessica's Sweet 16

Today was Jessica's Sweet 16 birthday party. It was held at Jaycee Park. It started a little late and on top of that it was windy and cool. There were 2 boats there so the children were able to get out on the water and ride the tube. Not as many people showed up as she wanted, many of her friends never made it but all her family was there minus her grnadmother who fell yesterday. I hope she is feeling better.

Jessica is turning into a beautiful young women, she has a gorgeous smile. I am sure she is already breaking hearts.

Her Aunt Jeannie did a wonderful job and I want to thak her again for being there for Jessie.

Friday, April 28, 2006

Dan Brown's Angels and Demons

I finally finished it last night. I enjoyed it very much. Dan Brown is a good writer and I had no problems keeping up with the plot no matter how outrageous it became. Dan Brown has a talent for telling tall tells. I had no problems believing all the events in the story at some point in time could be true. He makes a very logical argument. His use theology, legend, history and facts tells a rapidly paced story that is hard to pull away from. I loved racing from one clue to the next that took the reader from one side of Rome to the other. I loved reading about the masters and there art. I learned much and I encourage all to read this book not just because it is a good read but also because it is packed so full of knowledge that the average reader never really gets. I enjoyed reading about Vatican City and some of it's inner daily routines and politics.

I only had a few problem with the book. I did not like how Mr. Brown turned the good guys into the bad guys and vica versa.......I'll admit an interesting twist....

I also had a problem with the climax, it did not feel right and trying to convince my mind that spiritual intervention was the hero in a book that lays open the christian faith so bare to the bone really threw me off. No matter how much factual data there is in this book trying to explain it i know that when a human falls out of the sky hes a pancake and if he lives by some twist of faith hes not walking out of the hospital an hour later bumming a ride from one of the nurses.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Chauvinism is alive and well in St Lucie County

I was born in the early 60's, I am the last of the Baby Boomers. I was born to a generation of women who wore girdles and were many times stay at home moms. Their most important role was to take care of their home and family while her husband provided for them and that was how my family basically started out as. But by the late 60's and early 70's free love became the slogan and my family fell apart. My parents separated permanently when I was 4 years old. My life was filled with turmiol until about my 26th birthday. I was always considered cute and pretty as a child but just because you are young and pretty dose not neccesarily make you stupid naive yes but not stupid. Growing up I was "leered" at, "groped", and propositioned many times by males who thought they had the right to do so because of their gender. It never seemed to matter how old I was or for that matter how old they were. I have been abused by males and actually let them get away with until I learned how to fight back.

For some reason at the age of 41, I thought I no longer had to fight for respect, for cooperation or just plain old common curtesy. I really thought I had earned the right to expect these things. Apparently I am very wrong. Several incidents have occurred in the past month or so that has made me suspect that who I am has nothing to with the problems I have come up against. I have come to the conclusion that maybe what I am is the problem. I am a woman and because I am only a women some men think that my gender is less capable than theirs. I will not say that all men behave this way because I know they don't but I do beleive they have all acted like male chauvinist pigs at least once in their lifetime. Unfortunately for me I seem to keep bumping heads with men in authority who think because there is a strong femine voice on the other side of the phone or radio that dose not coo or giggle that I am incapable of doing my job properly. I have been treated as if what I say is not important and I am ignored or dismissed when I speak firmly and with confidence. Even the pretense of common curtsey is lost when I try to exert my authority and abide by the rules that are set up by my agency to follow. Because the rules that I follow do not coincide with the wants or even demands of the authoritve figures I have had a complaint made and been accused of being argumentative when all have done is simply stated the truth politely but firmly.

I have over looked and even dismissed this train of thought for a while not really believing it could occurr at this time of my life especially with men who are of a similar age and grew up with similar backgrounds. Regardless of the fact that I grew up in the south where chauvinism like the KKK is still found in small pockets of our communities, I was surprised to finally have to come to terms with the fact that chauvinism is exactly what I have come up against and I am not happy. I am at a lose as to what I can even do about it.

As a person in general, I try to be leader that my peers can respect and hope that they will follow my example. I am strong willed and self confident. I am the type of person that if you ask me a question and I am not sure of the answer I will find the answer. I am honest sometime to a fault and very blunt so do not ask the question if you are not prepared to hear my answer. I am usually self motivated (I am a procrastinator sometimes) and I rarely need anyone to tell me how to do my job but even I have been known to learn a new trick or two. I crave knowledge and I read and study as much as time allows me. I am open minded to new things, people and experiences. I can be tempermental and demanding but I also possess patience and I care about the people in my world.

See me as a man and what do you see...............

see as I am a women and some men may see me as nothing more than a mouthy bitch and not anything I can say or do can change there opinion, sometimes you just cant win.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Religion, a Rant

I am happy to say my family reads a lot, we read a large variety of different books. My son likes science fiction/fantasy, while my youngest daughter likes mysteries. My 13 yoa is reading Harlan Coban novels and she also likes Carl Haissen. I am still trying to get through The Icewind Dale Series by R.A. Salvatore. He has so many books I may never finish. I like my son love science fiction/fantasy. I love Robert Jordan, L.E. Modesitt, Robert Silverberg, and Piers Anthony, but my favorite genre is horror and my favorite author is Steven King. Infact I took a break from my current book to read Stephen King's 'Cell' .....It was good a typical King read and I enjoyed it. My husband on the other hand likes Stephen King but is more likely to read murder mysteries or military type fiction. He likes the Tom Clancey type authors. Right now he is reading the Dan Brown books. He has finished 'The Davinci Code' and is currently reading 'Angels and Demons'. Religion has taken on a whole new light for him. Even though his works are fiction it is laced with some truth and many theory's about religions and how it has have evolved over the centuries. It is amazing at all the new insights he has gained just from reading these two books. It has made us all think.

In the last week we have had atleast 3 different conversations on religion. Both Fred and I were raised Southern Baptist and because of it we are sort of Agnostic. It is not so much that we don't believe in God because we do. We just don't believe that any one religion is necessarily correct. I do not believe in organized religion at all for that matter. I have gone to several different denominations in my life and so far nothing feels right to me and the religious dogma that is spouted usually leaves me unsatisfied and looking for a more realistic answer. I get tired of being told to "just believe" or "have faith". I like to think of myself as an intelligent person and I guess I have a habit of asking too many questions that most of the time no one in that particular religion really has a reasonable answer for. My children seem to have taken after a similar philosophy.

Fred and I have tried very hard to raise independent thinking children. We want them to think out of the box as they say. We have tried to instill in them tolerance, patience and kindness towards others. I insist that they try to look at all sides of a situation and to try to be fair and open minded. I have tried to teach them to treat adversity as a challenge. We encouraged them to question authority and to not be afraid to voice their opinions. We have taken great care to raise them in a loving home and to make sure that they are confident and have self respect. Fred and I have tried so hard to make sure our children have had more then we had growing up and to make sure they know they are loved. However, somehow I have managed to raise 2 children that are atheist, I don't know how I did that and nothing I say will change their minds. You live and then you die. Erin still has not made up her mind about the whole religion thing yet but she still has a few years. I hope she is more open minded.

As for myself I was a very religious child growing up, I was baptized twice at 2 different churches. We moved a lot and I guess my mother was trying to find the answers to her questions and she dragged us to many different churches and denominations. One Church we visited was the Mormon Church - The Church of Latter Day Saints. They were nice enough people and very helpful always ready to help other members of the church. They spend a lot of time on missionary work, out reach and genealogy. I just could not get a grasp on the whole John Smith thing and I don't think my mother did either. We went to many different Christian churches along the way, always looking for the right one and never really finding it. I think the longest we stayed at any church was Charleston Heights Baptist and I think it was this church that really soured me to religion. I learned what it was meant to be called a hypocrite. I saw what greed could do to people and just how little tolerance there was for people who did not conform to the Baptist ideology. As a teenager I went to Presbyterian Church with my girlfriend and it was nice. It was I guess you could call it Baptist Light no fire or brimstone preaching just a good sermon and fellowship it was a pleasant experience but by then I was already jaded as far as my faith was concerned.

Now my grandmother was a very devout 7th Day Adventist and my Mimi made my brother and I conform to her rules when ever we were at her house. She made us turn off the T.V. at sundown Friday night and we were not allowed to turn the T.V. on until sunset Saturday. The Sabbath was very important to her and per their doctrine the Sabbath was a day of rest and the only thing she did on Saturday was to go to church and worship. The Adventist follow much of the old testament teachings. They have a few quirky beliefs I thought was weird but I was a child. They don't eat pork or any kind of scavenger. Adventist believe in Jesus and the second coming of Christ. They believe that once you die you are dead until you are called from the grave at the second coming. I just recently went back and read through their practices and beliefs and maybe they are not so far off the track.

I am not a theologian, I have read the Bible but I do not profess to know or understand everything that is in it. I have come to believe over the years that the Bible is just a book written by men and at best it is a very good history of the Jewish people and the life of Jesus Christ. It is sad to note that many books where left out of the Bible because a man decided they where not appropriate or did not portray the religion as men believed it should be. I was appalled to discover that many of the books that describe the youth if Jesus were removed. I have since gone back and read as much as I can find and I can see why many of these scriptures were removed. Jesus in our day could have been branded a witch and burned at the stake for some of his antics. I just amazes me how easily the Bible and the Christian religion has been manipulated to conform to man's will and not God's. I do believe in a higher power and I call out to God occasionally and thank him for all he has bestowed in me and mine. I am still not sure what exactly it is I believe in and I have toyed around with many of my own ideas only to dismiss them because again they can't answer all my questions.

I studied the idea of Karma and reincarnation as a young adult and it did satisfy my faith for a little while but as I have grown older and the more I have thought about it the less sense it makes. Although I truly believe that "what comes around goes around" or the popular "you sow what you reap" the reincarnation belief no longer feels right. The world has just become too populated and I don't think our souls multiply. I even went to several psychics in my early 20's and I was very impressed. I had one tell me about my past lives. My most recent past I was told I was a catholic nun who taught algebra. I think it safe to say I went to the total opposite side in my current life. The same person also told me I would never have any children...........So much for that.

I guess I have ranted enough for one day but there are still so many ideas and theory's I have and I know they will grow and change as I become older and more knowledgeable. I will continue my search for the truth even though I know I will have to wait until I am dead to find the truth and answers to all my questions.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Dear Hmmmmmmm

I guess I need to go back and underline the word Idiot.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Dear Happy

Taken from LEO Affairs message board FPPD

((***Over all the dispatcher do a hell of a job. Yes sometimes they get put on the radio to soon and can't handle it. Sometimes some people just can’t cut it and it takes time to find this out. But the dispatcher is doing a job where they have to keep track of a number of Officers and what they are doing. I would not want to do that job and I thank you for what you are doing. My beef is with the dispatchers who feel that they are or have a god complex. You are not a boss, supervisor or leader. It is your job to give out information and directions. You K.P. are not going to tell us how to do the job. You are a very good dispatcher, one of the best. But your attitude makes it so we hate hearing you on the radio. We need you to dispatch not direct we know our job (well some of us) I know that you have to do one 10-4 check when were on a 10-50 wait I mean a traffic stop and that’s good. But most of the time you cover your required 10-4 check even before we get out of the car. We can then spend 30 minuets out on this stop and never get another 10-4 check. Ya'll need to space the 10-4 checks out little more. And try not to forget that we are out there.
Have a nice day. Love Ya!***))

I was a little puzzled when one of my co-workers showed me this post last night. I was a little hurt at first because I was not sure why I deserved a spot on this forum but after I thought about it I was pleased. I have never really thought of myself as a trouble maker and I don’t believe I am, but I do and will stand up for myself. I have a healthy dose of self respect and I have standards and morals. I have a bad habit of telling the truth and expecting the others around me to do the same. I will stand up for the truth because sometimes that is all we have. I still don’t know why my name was brought up unless I pissed somebody off and I do that on a daily basis so join the club. I have to admit that it takes a person with big balls especially one who obviously dislikes me to commend me for being a good dispatcher if not one of the best. It made my day and I thank you Happy for saying so. It is not too often officers tell their dispatchers they are doing a good job and we do appreciate it when we hear it.

However I have to comment on the God complex, I am not God nor do I expect to become a God anytime soon. I like to think of myself more like a mom protecting her family. When I am working the radio and that could be any radio at 911, the officers and deputies on duty are my responsibility. I make sure they are well cared for by checking on them regularly, making sure they have back ups, relaying correct information as quickly as possible and knowing where they are at all times. I am not perfect but I do aspire to be the best at what I do, I hold myself to a higher standard and I try to be a good role model for other dispatchers. I am a leader and a supervisor at 911, and because my job demands that I make snap decisions that will affect those I am responsible for on my radio then sometimes that does make me the boss. Most of the sergeants and lieutenants that I work with regardless off jurisdiction trust me and know that I will do what is best for that situation. I know that I am not popular and I know I have an attitude sometimes but I don’t usually give officers an attitude unless I’ve been on the receiving end first and just like a Mother I have no problems correcting inappropriate behavior and B.S. this includes being rude and telling the dispatcher how to do her job when she’s already done it.

My job is much more complicated then just giving out information and directions and any officer that believes that is an idiot, yes I said it an Idiot. I am not here to be your friend or to coddle you. I try to treat everyone as fairly as possible. I have no favorites but there are a few I like better than others. I am not here to put up with your bull shit nor will I tolerate it. I am not intimidated easily and I am not afraid to go toe to toe. My main job as an LEO dispatcher is to make sure that everyone goes home at the end of the shift healthy and no more worse for wear than when they started. I stress myself out worrying about making the one stupid mistake that will inevitably get someone hurt. I am more critical of myself than any of you could ever be on me. This is what makes a good dispatcher and I will continue to be a leader/boss/supervisor regardless of what people post on that forum.

As far as the 1004 checks go, 911 SOP is 3minutes from inception of traffic stop or arrival to an in progress call or suspicious person/vehicle ect. After that it is 10 to 15 minutes than again at 30 if the dispatcher is not sure what that officer has especially if he is alone. Now if an officer was on records running FCIC I know that the officer is busy and will generally wait a little longer to check on them and then there are the times when it is just so busy it is not hard to overlook a 1004 check. Just to let all the officers know I have heard some of the complaints and I have been trying hard to make sure they are addressed. I am trying to make sure that officer safety on the radios and that is all the radios at 911 are the first priority. Some where along the line the departments have lost our respect and for those of us who care we are trying hard to remedy that. I would be more than happy to hear any complaints officers might have to help 911 better prepare and train its dispatchers. My email address is available here on my Blog site.

Just remember we have good people that work at 911 and most at least like what they are doing. It is first of all hard to find decent people to even interview and once we get them in the center at least half if not more fail to make the cut. Dispatching and complaint taking is hard and stressful work. Once upon a time 911 was for emergencies now it has become a catch all for the most mundane of complaints. We are expected to know everything and then patiently be verbally abused by the public, unfortunately some officers can act the same way and many times act worse. I not saying that dispatchers are saints we all have our bad days but officers usually only have to deal with 2 dispatchers their main and records. Dispatchers have to put up with a multitude of different personalities all day and it usually only takes one asshole to screw it up.

Please don’t be offended by what I post here most of the officers I work with are hardworking men and women who do there job without complaint and are a pleasure to work with even under the most difficult of circumstances. All you have to do is read some of the post at Leo Affairs to see that the officers with the most outlandish complaints are the ones that are causing most of the problems. I know the department has its issues. The lack of morality and honesty seems to be the biggest complaint but unfortunately no matter how many rules are written regarding ethics if there is not a strong leader setting the example then you end up with what FPPD has become.

I try very hard to maintain a professional radio and anybody that has worked with me knows that when I am working I expect the best and I usually get it.

Monday, April 17, 2006

My Theory about Dave Chappelle

I have read most of the Dave Chappelle Theory (see link). I just dont know what to say. I love Dave Chappelle, he a great comedian and I love his stuff and I can imagine the great stress he was under. I can beleive he was under so much stress that sometimes it's just easier to ignore the real world.

It is my theory that Dave Chappelle became addicted to on line crack. I beleive he gave up everything to play World Of Warcraft. I mean come on if I had enough money and could take some time off I'd play all day long. I am playing right now as I type. My main character Mistical is flying to Feralas right now to collect a Hippogryph egg. I play every chance I get I'd even play at work but they have to ports blocked and I can get on. I play instead of sleep. I woke up at 0230 hrs this morning and played until 0400 hrs. I think Dave just played.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Fart Games my Daughters like to play

ON most days I just have two daughters but occasionally I have three. Veronica spent the slept over last night and kept us all entertained. V is thirteen going on thirty five and loves to argue so much we are trying to convicince her to become a lawyer. She would be great at it. She is full of energy and a chatter box but most times she is well behave but only because my other two wont go along with most of her schemes. Sometimes she just does not understand "we will get in troube if we get caught" or "Dad will kill us if he finds out".

Anyway, we went to dinner last night at TGIFriday's and went and saw Scary Movie 4. All three girls chatted their heads off and somewhere along the way the subject of boyfriends came up. Well as far as my husband knows none of the girls zre allowed to have boyfriends. Beth dated a boy breifly in 7th grade and I sorta told him about that but it was over before it really started so I did not feel it really counted. Well Erin finally confessed that she did have a boyfriend. We knew that tere was a bot named Alexander that likes her and has been tyring to get her to go to a movie with him but she has always maintained they are just friends. He is her date for her semi-formal dance. Beth keeps talking about a boy named Andrew, he has even come to the house and skateboarded with her. She talks about him on occassion and I saw the smiloe in her face when he came over to see her. She's not fooling me at all. Beth confessed last night at dinner that they went steady last year for a little while but she broke up when she found out how old he was. He looks like he is her age but she admitted he just turned sixteen. She will not be fourteen until July. I thought Fred was going to come unglued. I actually saw several strands of the few brown hairs he still has on his head turn grey. All I have to say is thank godness for hair dye RB6.

Fred and I survived dinner and the movie and on the way home my daughters strating playing a fart game a new one. In 2004 during our vacation they invented what they called the Peanut Butter and Jelly game. Peanut Butter was a regular fart, Jelly was considered a particukarly stinky or clingy fart, and a PB&J was a wet or oops I need to change my underware fart. Now this was almost two years ago and you would think thay by now they would have matured and grown out of this phase, I am wrong and they have not. Last nights game was Veronica's idea and they ran with it. V was telling how she was riding with her family up to Georgia serveral weeks ago and she farted and wanted everyone to acknowledge her handiwork but she knew if she told them they would hold their noses and her talent would go unnoticed so she said, "Dose it smell like popcorn in here?" and of course they all took a good sniff and were rewarded. V was very happy and we all got a good laugh about that one. Now later on as we were driving home V let one so I asked her if she was making popcorn back there and that was it. Now instead of making sandwiches they are popping popcorn. Please dont ask me about buttered popcorn.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Trying to get back into Midnights

I used to love midnight shift but it seems as I get older the less night shift likes me. I feel so busy when I am working the day rotation it never seems like there is enough time to do everything I need to get done. It's been almost 2 weeks and I am having a horrible time adjusting. My sleep habits are all screwed up I can sleep for 4-5 hours then I'm wide awake. It has been even harder because I am working a radio and I have to stay awake and alert. It's also been a little busy. I have not had a lot of time do do any of the chores I had planned.

I still have not finished the baby quilt for my friend Annie and she is due any time now. I have two more corners and I'm done. I am hoping I can finish it tonight. (wishful thinking)

I have not stayed on my diet but I have started several times. I am having a serious problem with coke and fired chicken and some minor issues with chocolate.

I have written a little bit but not much and I am not happy with the way the story is going. I am to be waiting for that light bulb to go off and I am afraid I will be waiting awhile.

Repairs on our house are going slow and it is a little scary with hurricane season only a few months away. The roof was suppose to be done by now it's not. The screen porch company told us the patio should be up before the first of May but we have not heard from them either. I hate waiting.......

I think we have finally decided to get rid of the Yukon. We really cant afford it anymore the gas is ridiculous and our house insurance and taxes went up almost $200.00 a month and we need to down size so to say. My sister has my travel trailer now and I really don't have a good reason to keep it and the fact that I like driving it is just not getting the bills paid.

We have had an interesting week so far, Beth had her honor roll presentation it was short and sweet. Afterwards Fred and I went and looked a a few new construction models at Tradition in Port St Lucie as a lark. We just wanted to see what the houses were going for. After being treated for shock, we quickly left and gained a new appreciation for our home. We looked at a 3bed 2bath with a mother in law apartment that was selling for $419,000.00. The construction looked sound but I saw a lot of cosmetic issues that concerned me and Fred noticed that they were using Styrofoam for trim around the windows and decorative molding then sprayed stucco over it. These are zero lot line properties - deed restricted - no thank you.

And then there was the Immigration protest on Monday, it was huge more than a thousand people showed up to protest here in Ft Pierce. We only love 3 blocks from the county commission offices and that was ground zero. Protesters march all the way to US1 and back and they were noisy but peaceful. Fred went over and he took some pretty good shots, he is an awesome photographer.

This weekend should be busy I will be out shopping with my girls. They both have dances in May that are semi formal and they both want to design there own gowns and I get to make them. We will be shopping for patterns, material and shoes to match. My ladies are growing up too fast. Fred and I were looking at old pictures of the children when they were small and we both teared up. They will be grown and gone before we know it unless they are like their brother Warren and then they will probably never leave home.

Monday, April 03, 2006

April Fools Weekend

It seems that we have all survived the weekend again. I did work several hours friday but I was home when Fred came home for lunch and had plenty of time to pick up Erin from school. We orderd pizza for Friday night and Beth went to the Firehouse to hang out with her friends. After eight days straight of 911, all I wanted to do was sleep. I passed out not too long after I picked up Beth at 10pm. I was surprised I lasted that long.

Erin was up late, she was planning her April Fools surprise on her sister and brother. She started with Warren just before he left for work. Her father told her the best joke is the one that never happened. She had him all upset before he walked out the door. Then we cleaned his room and waited. Erin was back up by 8am setting up Beth's room. She laid out plastic wrap and spuirted chocolate sauce on it. However when she tried to get her up by thrown snap rocks at the foot of her bed Beth just yelled at her and went back to sleep. Warren came home not too long after that grabbed her and drug her outside and threatened to throw her in the pool if she did not tell him what she did to his room. I had to run outside and make him stop just in case. They were both giggling butyou never know with those two. Beth finally woke up to the chocolate mess and they both cleaned it up with out incident. We all survived Friday morning.

We made it to the Market about 10am but we did not stay too long because of the heat. They area is so tightly packed with booths and people the breeze never had a chance. They have Indidna River Drive tore up and the arts and crafts area was not in its usual place, we found down it by the community center right on the water. It was nice. We went to Home Depot then to Walmart picked up groceries for the next couple of days and went home and unloaded. My chores were done.

Fred and I had decided Friday that we needed to go out by ourselves, We had Warren drop us off at Archies on the beach about 6:30 Saturday night. We had beer and Chicken wings and visited with other patrons we knew including 2 police officers that showed up for a call about rental property the owner had. (Not even important enough to talk about.) We sat there for a while then walked down to the Jetty Bar and had a few drinks and just talked and hung out. We had Warren pick us up at 9pm played some WOW and then to bed. We had to get up early for Fred's Shift party Sunday.

We did not get up early and we were in no rush to get moving Sunday morning. Fred had to make Mac-n-cheese and Banana pudding for the party and it took longer to get it made than he anticipated but we finally made it around 2pm. We were suppose to be there at noon better late than never. We had a decent time. Erin fished with the boys Beth never left my side and Fred made the rounds chatting with his shift mates. Jay was there with his wife Amy, he used to work at 911 still part time as far as I know was there with shrimp clams and rock crab claws. I ate as much shrimp as I could before I was too full, UUMM grilled on the barbie shrimp!!!!!!!! The party started to wind down around 5pm and we just chilled the rest of the day. Good food friends and great spring weather made a very nice afternoon, we had no choice but to come home and do nothing for the rest of the day............

Today I had plans to do chores, the back yard needed to be cleaned up. I slept late and Fred slept in even later. I think its safe to say we played WOW all day except for the nap we took around 3pm I was on my computer all day. Tonight is my first night back on midnights and for some reason I am dreading it, maybe its just work period I dread. I guess we will see.