Sunday, December 31, 2006

Happy New Year Comment Graphics

Thursday, December 28, 2006


I am feeling a little better today. Mind you today could be worse but so far it is bearable. A few small obstacles today that only a paycheck can fix but tomorrow, pay day, will be here soon enough. I hate being broke but if I get real desperate I can always turn in my winning lottery tickets all of $6 if I remember correctly or maybe I’ll just turn them in for more lottery scratch off’s. I could win something big maybe……..or most likely not.

I am trying not to catch something so I tried to sleep in late. Of course the dogs woke me at 6am, I let them out for about 15 minutes then back to bed. I slept past 9am and felt a little better. I still have the little tickle in my throat but it seems only slight now. I went to my computer and read my mail as is my usual routine when I wake up and found a pleasant surprise. Redemption, there is integrity in the world. With the way things have been going lately I had assumed that another ‘incident’ would be swept under the rug. I was wrong and I am glad. I feel better knowing that the world has not completely lost its mind nor have I.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

The day after Christmas....

I survived Christmas 2006, it was tough but I made it. Five more days to go before the New Year, I can't wait. A New Year and fresh plate time to slough off the old and bring on the new. I have had so many great things happen but at the same time I have been more disappointed than I can recall in a long time.

I feel better than I have in years but this has bought on a whole new set of problems. Change no matter how good you think it is only cause’s problems. I think I was a Lemming there for a long time, too exhausted, tired and sick to protest I went along with the crowd. I'd have a burp every once in a while raise my head growl my discontent only to lay my head down and go back to sleep. Sleep is good. I am good at it.

I'm awake now and no longer a Lemming. I am deeply disturbed by things that I once let slide because it was easier that way. I have let my children slide for years only to discover I have raised a bunch of slobs. They are good kids but OMG they are lazy at times. Needless to say I have put my foot down and they are getting better but there is room for much improvement. I am including myself here because there are many days I ignore the laundry completely. I hate laundry I truly do.

I have let my husband take advantage of me. I can not blame him totally because he like my children push the limits to see how far they can go and I have let him go to far I think. I am trying to pull back hard on the reins now and he is fighting me for all he is worth. Sometimes I think it would be easier to just call it quits sometimes it is just too much but I do not know how to stop loving him after 20 years and I don’t really want to. I do hate him sometimes because he can be so selfish but I have to take much of the blame. Don’t get me wrong he is a great father, a good man in general but he is a man. I created the monster so now what do I do. I miss my best friend.

I can’t think about work right now. I like the people I work with most of the time but we all have our moments. I am having one of those moments. I'll get over it or I'll find another job. 2007 is a new year so I guess we will see.

I have ranted enough I think this is way more personal than I usually date to write but I do have a good life and most times I am happy. I was skipped over for promotion last month and it has affected more than I imagined. A good slap in the face will wake you up but now I am pissed off by what I see and I am not sure what I should do. I just know I can’t hide my head in the dirt anymore. I am hoping I will start to feel better with the coming of the New Year. I don’t want to feel used anymore or taken advantage of. I think next year I will change the way I do things and maybe I need to quit taking so much of the blame.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

I'm Broke

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I need a better paying job because it’s Friday night and I am broke. Maybe rob a bank or winning the lottery would be more likely at this point but I can wish. I feel like I shopped all day even though my daughters were nice enough to have me home and back in my bed by 1 pm this afternoon. (I worked all night.) I was back up at 6pm after several interruptions chauffeuring my daughters to the firehouse then spending a few moments with my friends. I was invited to a Christmas Party at the Daly’s but I had to leave before 10 pm because I had to chauffeur my daughters back home. Poor Fred has work all day so I know he will be either wound up or exhausted when he gets home. He wont be happy to know we are broke but he should be satisfied that I purchased all his requested presents before funds ran out. We maybe eating Cornish hens with canned vegetables for Christmas Dinner if I am not careful. There is a little money in savings but I really don’t want to touch it. Money is so hard to save there always seems to be an emergency.

I didn’t forget about myself this year, I did go shopping last week but I remember why I hate shopping and only bought a nice black business jacket. I broke down today and bought myself new bras the expensive Victoria Secret ones. Poor Beth is busting out all over so I had her in the store with a clerk for almost an hour trying on bras until we found ones that she liked. They did not have her size in the store which turned out to be a good thing for me. I found them on line at a cheaper price and was able to order her an extra bra and free shipping. She’s 14 and wears a cup size smaller than me. If she doesn’t stop growing here soon I see a breast reduction in her future. Erin appears to be following in her foot steps. They don’t get this from me I was a charter member of the IBTC until my first pregnancy. I think I will blame Fred and the Pate genes for this one they are more like their Aunt Jennifer than me in that aspect.

I still need glasses but I will wait until after first of the year. I can still type without too much difficulty but I can’t read the small print in books anymore. If I strain my eyes too much anymore my vision becomes blurry and I get head aches so no reading small print or quilting until I get new shades. Getting old really bites but what do you do? I know get contacts and find a really great plastic surgeon which brings me back to I’m broke but in 3 more days this will all be over with.

The picture above is called 'Sunrise over St Mark's'

Friday, December 22, 2006

Sunrise Over Lawnwood Stadium

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As I was drving home yesterday the sunrise was uncommonly gorgeous. I picked a spot on the west side of the stadium and took this shot. Not to shabby........

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

6 days until Christmas

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The final days of Christmas are upon us and my children are counting down the hours. I have finished my Christmas cards and they are all in the mail. I have not wrapped one present but I hope to have that chore accomplished by tomorrow. I still don’t feel rushed and that is a good thing I think.

This year I have to work Christmas night and Fred works Christmas morning so we will open gifts some where in between. The girls and I will be cooking this weekend. I am hoping to make Banana Bread, cookies, and I have 6 Cornish game hens in the freezer waiting for Christmas Dinner. I usually leave the fancy cooking to the chefs in my house but since I am a pretty fair cook I thought I might give it a whirl.

I have another meeting this morning; these damn get togethers are driving me nuts. Although they let a few people share their dissatisfaction with the center nothing ever truly gets accomplished. I personally have had enough of making suggestions and trying to “improve” a broken system. No mater how much I complain about dispatching errors and officer safety, they seem to fall on deaf ears not only from my peers but also the supervision. They always agree that SOP should be followed but no one enforces it and if I try to enforce I usually get attitude so much for authority and seniority. Of course just because you have been given a title dose not necessarily mean anything as I have discovered recently.

I guess I have ranted enough this morning. I need to shop some more this afternoon, my girls are going to a Christmas party tonight and we still need to look for a gift for the host.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Erin's First Christmas Concert

Erin is a percussionist and doing a pretty good job. This is her first concert and although the songs were simple the children played very well for first years. Some like Erin have only been playing their instruments since August.

Erin's First Band Concert

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Monday, December 11, 2006

Christmas Concerts

Elizabeth's Concert Tuesday the 12th 7 pm at Central High School....

Erin's First Concert Thursday the 14th at 7pm At Dan Mcarty.....

Monday, December 04, 2006

The Closer

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I am not too awfully fond of T.V. anymore. All the new reality shows don’t interest me at all. I don’t want to watch dancing with the stars or see who is the next Top American Model or Idol or whatever………

Although I have to admit that Mario Lopez is smoking hot!!!!
(the girls at work twisted my arm and made me watch)

I can honestly say there is not too much on the tube that I like. However I have to admit that I set my timer just to watch Kyra Sedgwick in ‘The Closer’. I love this show. I love the Deputy Chief Brenda Lee Johnson. She is a tough cookie and more blunt than I could ever imagine being. She knows what she wants and goes for it but at the same time showing her fears. She cries and stresses over the decisions she makes but never backs down once she’s made up her mind what she is going to do. She follows through no matter what anyone else thinks. I just love her character I really do…..

Brenda being a southerner never hurts either………I wonder if she can get sweet tea in LA?